The thing that worries me the most is will I be able to juggle having a toddler who wants my attention all the time and an infant that needs me all the time. I know I am going to have to split my time between them as equally as possible but I am worried that Zane is going to resent the fact that I can't do what he wants me to right then & there!
Then there is the will Zane feel like we don't love him as much because we can't give him 100% of our attention all day, every day. What if he starts to resent us because we don't spend all our time with him? What if he is mean to his sister because he resents her for taking his only child position away? {this is a worry because of 1st hand experience & how I felt towards my brother for many, many years!}
I am also so worried that I will become so overwhelmed and completely lose it. I love being a stay at home momma to Zane but I also know that in a little less than 3 months there will be two kids vying for my attention & I am so worried that I won't be able to to juggle everything and I will lose my mind.
So what have I been doing to prepare for all of these things? I have been praying every.single.night for God to take over and to give me peace. I need to learn to hand over the big things in life fully to Him and I think that this is a really great place to start. I know that if I do give complete control over to Him that He will get me through it. There may be times where I feel completely alone and like He is no where to be found in helping me but I will just need to relax and remember that if you ask He will be there for you no questions asked. You may not hear or see him but He's going to be there. The Lord will always be there as long as you don't leave Him. :)
