Why I am a stay at home mom

I have read a lot of posts out in blogland lately about being a stay at home mom 
and/or being a mom who works outside of the home 
and it made me want to tell you my story 
and explain how we came to the decision of me staying home with our kids.
I read two different perspectives just today on the subject one 
from the lovely Samantha over @ Hooah and Hiccupps
and the other one was from the adorable Kaitlyn @ Wifessionals.
I highly recommend you go read these posts!

I know there are a ton of people out there who are not going to agree with me at all
and that's ok.
We all have our own opinions...
just please be nice.

This is my story
and why we chose what we did.

When James and I got married in 2008 he was adamant that when we had kids that I would 
continue to work outside our house
because in his mind we wouldn't be able to afford living on his salary.
{He is in law enforcement so he doesn't make a ton of money by any means whatsoever.
We live basically paycheck to paycheck 
and that is a decision we didn't come to lightly at all.}

I was extremely disappointed when he told me that
because it had always been my dream to be a stay at home mom to my kids
just like my mom had been with my brother + me.
But I dropped the subject because we weren't thinking about kids yet 
so I knew we'd revisit it when we started talking about having kids or once I was pregnant.

So fast forward to 2009 when we found out I was pregnant with Zane.
I brought the subject up again
and again was shot down by him...
still the the same reasoning.
So I dropped it again.
A few months later he brought the subject up again to me
and this time it was a completely different story.
He had been talking to all of his buddies at work that have wives that stayed home with their kids,
and had been asking them if it was worth it.
{I think hearing it for a 3rd party helped him see my reasoning}
They had all told him, 
sure it was difficult at times but they were doing it
and some of them had 4 kids
and we were just going to have one!
So he saw that it was possible
and that's when he really listened to me 
and why I wanted too.
So here is why I wanted to stay home with my kids::

I grew up in a home where my mom stayed home with us 
and I loved every.single.second of it.
I loved having my mom home everyday...
she could take us to the park, 
she was there for everything 
and never missed a thing.
And that was what I wanted for my kids.
I wanted to be able to take care of my own kids
{not that having someone else taking care of your children is wrong,
I don't want anyone to think I look down on them for working!}
I wanted to be able to watch them grow + learn everyday.
I wanted to have that close relationship with them that I had with my mom 
because she was home with us.
I wanted to be able to go with them on their field trips at school
and take them to play at the park or go to the zoo.
I just didn't want to miss anything!
I knew it was going to be extremely hard and trying some days
but that didn't matter to me.

I will tell you that it was the best decision we ever made.
After many long conversations for the entire 9 months of being pregnant we decided
that me staying home was the best idea.
For one I wasn't making very much money where I worked
and we figured out that my entire paycheck except for about 50$ would go towards daycare
and that was completely pointless to us.
Two he decided that having me raise our kids would be the best thing.
Three he knew how much I really wanted it
and he wanted me to be happy.
{just like I had done for him when he became a police officer...
that's another story for another time!
Let's just say I wasn't thrilled.}

I will tell you that being a stay at home mom is H A R D!!
I don't get sick days or vacation days.
I work 365 // 24 // 7!
And contrary to what people think I am not sitting around doing nothing all day.
I work extremely hard to keep my kiddos happy 
and busy
and fed 
and clothed 
and so many other things it'd take years to list them all!
I don't get any me time whatsoever...
I haven't gone to the bathroom by myself in almost 3 years now
because if that door closes Zane has an epic meltdown
and what mom wants to do that?!
I don't get to eat my own food
because no matter what even if my plate is identical in every.single.way to his 
he still has to eat my food.
I rarely ever get time to myself
because even when James is home + I try to go upstairs 
and have a few minutes to myself Zane is screaming the entire time for me to come back down.

Please don't take this the wrong way...
I chose this
and I love every bit of it!
I wouldn't change anything at all.
I am just trying to explain to you how hard being a stay at home mom really is.
My kids are my entire world 
and I will love them to the end of time
and then some.

I also want to say that we are working extremely hard to get rid of our debt 
so that we don't have to live paycheck to paycheck
{We started doing the debt snowball by Dave Ramsey again, which you can read about here}
and let me tell you my children don't go without anything they need or even want!
We make sacrifices to give them what they need + want.
Zane has more toys than he can even play with
and that is why this year he is not receiving any toys for his birthday. 
{I will post on that later}
They both have more clothes than what will fit in their closet
and if Zane asks for something he really wants we usually find a way to get it for him 
however that may be. 

Whatever you chose or decide is right for you 
and your family it's your decision
and don't let anyone put you down or criticize you for that choice.
They don't know your circumstances 
or reasoning behind your choice
and really you shouldn't have to justify yourself to anyone.
So just know that I respect whatever decision you make for yourself.


Paige said...

Go Libby! I too had my Mom home as a child and it was really great. Your children are lucky, especially in this day and age! I work outside the home, but as you say, we all make choices that work for us and for our families. Go Mama!

Teressa Mackey said...

Love this post ! Being a Mama is HARD work. I commend you for staying at home. I think more women should get praise for it! One of my husband's co workers found out I was a SAHM and she said WOW thats amazing, I couldn't do it with my kids.. it was too much work. I now still call myself a SAHM but I teach volleyball lessons, and substitute at our church preschool on occasion.

Heidi Nickal said...

I hope once we decide to have kids I can stay at home too. Like you, I LOVED having my mom around. She actually got a part time job after I went to college and I remember her calling to tell me and I was like "wait, what?" lol!

Stephanie Skoblicki said...

Beautiful post! I sincerely hope it is in the cards for me as well!!! XO

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

For real. Being a SAHM is the hardest job in the entire world!!! But also the most rewarding! I'm so happy that everything worked out and you're able to stay home with your babes!

Nora Spaulding said...

this is awesome and god willing i'd love to be the same way- i was raised with mom at home too and always had what i needed and wanted most of the time. So being a SAHM is a hard job to have but oh so worth it i think.

Dara said...

my mom worked - although she says it was part time I remember her being gone most of the time. and that's why I wanted to stay at home! I can't imagine it any other way.

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