I feel like my heart is going to explode... with LOVE!

I am sitting here at home by myself watching the season finale of The Bachelor and for some reason it has made me just think about how much I love Zane!

I feel like my heart is literally going to explode from how much I love this tiny gift from God! He is seriously the light in my life and I can't believe that I can love someone so much like I love that little boy. He truly is the most important person in my entire life (besides James of course). I can't imagine my life without him. I went into his room a few minutes ago to just look at him. I stood there staring at him and thinking to myself how in the world do I deserve to be so dang lucky to have this perfect little being that is MINE. God has given me this most amazing gift and I get to raise him and love him and see his smiling face every single day. Sometimes when we are playing I will be sitting there watching the TV and I will look down and he will be staring at me with the hugest smile on his face (always with a binky) and it just melts my heart every time I see that. I want him to love me as much as I love him but I don't think he will ever love me as much I love him because my love grows more and more for him every single second of the day and night.

I will never take this precious gift that God has given me for granted. God has made my life complete. If I am not able to have more children (even though I would love to have more) I will never say that I didn't get what I wanted most in life because I absolutely, positively did. All my life the only 3 things I ever really wanted was to be a wife, a mom and get to stay at home mom with my child(ren) that God has given me and those dreams were fulfilled. My first one was fulfilled on June 21st, 2008 and my second & third dreams were fulfilled on May 21st, 2010 and both of those days were indescribably the most perfectly, amazingly, unforgettably best days of my entire life. I thank God every single day for Zane & James and I can't believe that he has blessed me with two such amazing men. My son is perfect in my eyes and nothing he ever does will ever change that.

I have so many big dreams for this boy that I have brought into this world. He can be a doctor or a car salesman (like his poppa) or a teacher or a police officer (like his daddy) or whatever he may choose. I will always be right beside him supporting him and helping him obtain those dreams. But the one that I want for him the most is to love God and to believe in Him and follow Him. I want to see him in Heaven with me. I have done my part and had him dedicated a few weeks ago to the Lord and that is all I can do for him, now it is all up to him. I will always love him and let him choose for himself what he wants to do but to have him love God would be the ultimate gift.

Zane - I love you so much and will always be there. Don't ever forget that your momma is here and she will do anything and everything that she can possibly do to help you grow into a great man like your father and grandfather are. So sweet little man know that I am going to love you unconditionally for the rest of your life. You truly are the best thing to ever happen to me. Thank you for who you are and for what you have done in my life even as a baby you have changed my world completely and I love you for that. I LOVE YOU more deeply than I have ever loved anyone and it just grows stronger every single second of every single minute of every single hour of every single day of every single week of every single month of every single year!

Your momma

1 comment:

Jana said...

You know, the knowledge of Jesus in our hearts in innate. Children sense it and when we explain it to them they KNOW. He will know the love of Jesus, because you (his parents) model that love...you live in it everyday. You are a great mom!

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