It's been a rough few days...

The last few days have been hard. I am hurting. I am done being pregnant... emotionally, physically, mentally, in all ways possible!! I have been having some major contractions lately and last week when I went to the doctor I was dilated to a 2.5cm & 50% effaced. So I could go into labor before my c-section date. I am also feeling sick constantly and there is not much food wise that sounds even remotely good to me. So I haven't been eating as much as I should, I do not remember this from being pregnant with Zane at all. So it is definitely something new. I also need sleep horribly bad! I barely sleep at night because I am in so much physical pain that I cannot get comfortable at all... so I just don't sleep. I am so tired that I don't have the energy to get up and clean my house or even do the laundry and I have not gotten her clothes washed yet. We have NO diapers for her at all. I mean none... there is just so much I need to do but I have absolutely no energy to get it done left. I know things can't be perfect but they need to be somewhat done.

Zane is also acting out a lot lately and I think it is because he knows there is a change coming and he doesn't understand what it is. I feel badly for him because I can't explain it any better than I have to him since he is only two. He just doesn't get it. I love him so much and I don't want him to think that he is any less loved than he was before just because we are having another baby. He is my life and I would do anything for him anytime. I just don't know how to make this better or easier on him. I am just so overwhelmed by everything that is happening.

Sorry for the totally lame & depressing post but I really just needed to get it out!


mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

I know already commented on your FB status but, it will all be over soon!! I truly believe that 2nd (and i'm sure 3rd and 4th..etc) pregnancies are harder because not only are you physically older, but you're chasing around a toddler on top of everything else in life. It's so difficult. I felt "done" at only 32 weeks with Easton. I was in so much pain, and so uncomfortable all of the time... and the sleep? What sleep?? I think I slept maybe 3-4 hours a night because I just couldn't get comfortable. And then we have to get up and take care of our crazy toddler. I don't know if you have family or close friends in the area - but now might be a good time to ask for help. I'm sure they wouldn't mind grabbing a few boxes of diapers for you, or doing a load of laundry! It's okay to reach out! You deserve a break. xoxo

Amandajeanbuell said...

Sorry your feeling bad! It will all be worth it! Send James over to Walmart for some giant boxes of diapers!

Alyx said...

Aww, I hope things get easier for you!! Just think about how great it will be once it's over - Zane will have a little pal, and you will be over the moon happy!!

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